These are not my words, however, they express my feelings about my dominant nature better than I ever could.
I desire to see a man suffer. I get great pleasure out of seeing a man in a
situation he does not want to be in, in a place that scares him, feeling
things that do not please him. I want to be the one to put him there.
But I want it to be by his choice. Yes, some persuasion might be needed,
some guiding, some reassurance. His fears might need to be distracted a
little bit by things like eagerness to show pride, the desire to please and
the pleasure in seeing a woman he desires in such a state of erotic bliss.
The irony in this is that I don't want a man to beg me for this. The more
he wants it, the more he lays out to me what his needs and desires are, the
more he has pigeonholed his little fantasy -- the less I desire doing it.
Meaning -- the more "submissive" a man is, the less I want to dominate him.
Don't get me wrong. Some of my best partners have been hardcore submissive
men -- meaning they definitely knew they were subs and they definitely got
involved with me to investigate those feelings. But they did not put their
agenda above mine, and they did not wallow in their cock or erection during our
play. Very important.
It seems so obviously backwards to me -- the way many sub men think. Or is
it that they seek out a type of domination different from my style? They
come to me saying I am everything they have wanted, yet they are disappointed
when I inform them that I will not follow their agenda or fulfill their
desire. Maybe I am just too selfish. Maybe I need to
cater more to the needs of my partner.
But you know what? This is how I am. To me, female domination is about the
beast inside of me that wants submission, wants to be pleased, and wants to
see what a man can sacrifice for my pleasure. And sacrifice means just
that. And for me, dominance is one part of a full relationship where his
needs are catered to just as much as mine are. Only when the time is mine,
it is truly "mine".
I don't want to force a man to do the things he
wants done. I want to bend him until he does the things that scare him, hurt
him, and make him helpless. And I want to reward him for that, and take care
of him afterward, and cry because he did it for me. I want to be impressed
and awed at what he takes for me. I want to be so turned on by his bravery
and how damned hot he looks in those ropes that I can barely finish what I
am doing because I want him so bad.
For submissive men that dream night after night for a dominant woman, dream
for a change about the woman that makes you do things you don't care to do.
And this doesn't mean the things you *like* to be "forced" to do, this means
things that you really aren't affected by one way or another, or things that
truly intimidate and scare you. Not about the things that make your dick
hard.
There is a completely priceless, undefinable place that is reached when
two people are locked together in this kind of a moment. It has nothing to
do with the leather, the latex, the high heels or the penis gag. It has to
do with the communication and the passion between them, and the sacrifice of
the pleasure and desires of one person for another. For many years when I
played, my play was simply taking over and spoiling myself with my own evil
desires for a short time, and enjoying everything about my partner on my own
terms.
And this was my time. He had his time, we had our time. But this was my
time to do what I wanted, and to play the game the way I wanted to play it.
When I go into this space, I don't do it for us, I do it for me. The more
pure his devotion and sacrifice for me, the more I treasure the experience,
and the more intense the feelings.
Everything I know about him and his desires is there with me, and I have
that choice to please or terrify him. And that choice should be mine. To
me, that's what dominance is about.